day 27: the 14, 49, or 67

September 30, 2008

mission:

  • be pleasant in even the simplest, routine instance

those are the bus lines i take to get home many days from bart.  yesterday as the 14 sped off, i sulked for just a moment.  but then i quickly remembered that the 49 is usually directly behind.  i was right.

lost in thoughts from the day, to-do lists, and plans for the evening (including my initial planned act for the day), i stayed in my head.  i’m usually in my head.  and what might surprise many, those that know and don’t know me, i don’t usually smile when i’m out and about on my own.  i often keep to myself and try to float about generally unnoticed, mean-mug defense mechanism on autopilot.

my default face is a mean mug – i can’t even help it.  my mama gets on me about it all the time.

granted, there are the moments where i am flamboyant, full of life, and walk about taking everything around me in – staring life in the face and whatnot.  but when i’m on my grind or routine, that approach to life for me is a little infrequent.

it’s largely random if i decide to say hello or smile at the busdriver as i enter the bus.  usually i’m blank, looking down or ahead of me – lost in thought or impatiently awaiting solitude at home.  there’s more of a chance i’ll say something when deboarding the bus – “thank you” or “have a good day” or “take care.”  it depends on my mood, desire to take the extra energy, and level of introversion/focus on myself and thoughts in that moment.

i get all kinds of busdrivers: many are blank-faced on the grind, a few preemptively pissed the eff off and will let you know it, others very inward and hostile as they mutter to themselves, some are rules-nazis, a couple a tad awkward, some chill and coasting through the day, with yet others jovially greeting every passenger.

my busdriver yesterday was the delightful kind.  she didn’t greet every person, but the vibrations of her voice were warm, her tone and inflection animated.  she was clearly loving life.

i wasn’t planning on saying anything to her when getting off the bus, but her energy swayed me.  on my way out – energy drenched from me and still relatively aloof, i half turned my head and let out a very even and light “have a good day.”  not very animated, but it wasn’t flat – just mellow.  coming from someone of my visible recluse disposition, i think she may have been surprised: “oh! you too!” she said merrily.  i could feel her huge smile behind me.  it compelled me to turn around and give one, albeit a small one, back.

i am usually the same introverted shadow of a person on the bus everyday.  but i remember the times i have taken a purposeful moment to say something nice to busdrivers on my way out.  more often than not, my gestures have been very warmly received.  i remember one time sensing a particular bus driver being in a bad mood and making a point to say something pleasant to him or her on my way out.  i immediately noticed how that gesture and connection uplifted their mood.

i want to try to challenge myself to exude outward positivity, warmness, and friendliness.  even when i’m inward, focused and on my grind, exhausted, or just in a plain bad mood.  i feel that good energy put out in and of itself has healing qualities both for the do-er and the receiver.  it can flip a mood.

it’s really the simple things.

be well, yall.
peace,
seher

mission:

  • give a stranger a free pair of tickets to the sf moma

this past saturday, i was lucky enough to catch the very tail end of the frida exhibit at the sf moma.  from what i know, the show was sold out, but i was able to get tickets from a limited pool saved for corporate members (a perk i get through my job).

i’ve never taken advantage of this perk – getting into the moma free.  all i was told is that you show your ID badge to get in free with one guest.  this friday i found out that they apparently print you two tickets.  “brilliant!” i thought.  “i can give away free tickets!”

so i made plans to go over to the moma sunday to try and get frida tickets for shak to see frida on closing day.  it took me nearly an hour to find parking in soma.  it was highly frustrating, especially since i had to go home to do work i had piled up.  but alas, i was to be patient because i was trying to do something nice.  was a struggle.

once i finally found a spot, i walked over to the moma membership table only to find that frida was sold out.  i ended up getting two general admission tickets.  i had made an agreement with shak that if i didn’t get her frida tickets for sunday, i’d get her general admission tickets for another day that suited her.

so i went outside to try and figure out who to give my tickets to.  i sort of stood around the perimeter of the building for a few minutes, trying to see who was trying to get into the museum.  there were a lot of people scattered about and i couldn’t really tell one way or another so i decided to approach people in line for tickets.

i caught a french couple at the end of the line: “are you trying to go see frida?” i asked.  they told me they were but it was sold out.  i told them i had general admission tickets if they wanted to see the other exhibits.  i was trying to hand the man the tickets but he hesitated as he didn’t seem to be sure what i was doing.  “wait.  you had extra tickets or something?”  i finally got him to grab the tickets.  “no,” i said.  “i’m trying to do something nice for someone everyday and decided that today i would give someone moma tickets for free.”  “oh, ok,” said the man, still somewhat unsure what i was saying, but happy he was getting free tickets.  the woman at this point went, “oh!” sounding pleasantly surprised.

they thanked me and delightfully made their way out of line and towards the museum doors.

day 25: free hugs

September 28, 2008

mission:

  • offer free hugs and chocolate to strangers at one post plaza in sf

earlier this week i decided that i wanted to give something awesome away on craigslist.  right as i began trying to think of material things i owned that i’d be willing to give away, i remembered my challenge to self to try to do things that didn’t require money.  hmmm – free love?  a little too intangible.  i decided to offer free hugs and chocolate on craigslist.  4-6pm on friday september 26th, i did exactly that.

won’t lie.  at first i was a little afraid i was going to get a bunch of super weird/creepy folks responding.  but in reality, i ended up getting some beautiful responses to my ad:

I send you my love, and support. I thank you for your kindness!
Robert

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thank you i always need a hug thank you again

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:)

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are you really giving chocolate too.

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You make me happy.    =]

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I’ll definantly be there!  I could sure use a hug.  I’ll keep it PG.  How will I know where you are? :P

tylor

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hey i do not really need free hugs but i really  want to meet new people i m from france studing here and i wanted to do what you ll do i mean the free hugs in france so that mean you re somebody nice so i hope you ll answer and we can go for a walk just speak thanks

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Seher, thanks for your contribution to the peace of the world, and for your courage and determination.  Yah!  May many blessings come to you, Joi

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Dear Seher…………..I cant come to give/receive a hug in person. I am disabled and dont get out. However all is cool and I am very touched by your posting. With the telephone and the internet I try to do what you are doing, but you are doing your wonderfulness with panache and style. I love it. Yours is the most unique and loving ad I have ever seen in CraigsList. I hope that Friday afternoon 4pm to 5pm goes off beautifully for you and for all who meet you there. If you have the time and inclination, I would love to hear back from you afterwards.
Sending you multitudinous hugs,
Lorelei Rathel

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you are way cool  !!!!!!!————here is a e-mail hug………..I’m in Napa………….gas it too expensive and life is too frantic so I pause now to honor your effort .    God Bless you ……….

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I think what you are doing is GREAT would you like to be interview on my show liberationradio.net if so give us a call Patrick Williams

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hi seher, yes the world needs a hug and so do I. from an ex marine I want to take this moment to give you a hug. only love can conquer hate. thank you my lady. jim.

nonetheless, i was a bit afraid for my safety and possible uncomfortable situations, so i was lucky when my friend shakirah offered to be my “bodyguard, sign holder, and candy hander-outer.”  she said wasn’t trying to give annnyyybody hugs – i could handle that part.  she felt like she was rather in the mood to knock someone out.  “great!” i said – “makes you all the more prepared to be my bodyguard.” :D

i get off work at 3pm on fridays so right after i left there i rushed over to walgreens to buy a big piece of posterboard and some chocolate.  i didn’t want to make the “free hugs” sign in front of folks at the plaza, so i just plopped down on some open floor area near the front of walgreens and got down to business.

per usual, i’m running 15 minutes late for my 4pm “appointment” at the plaza.  shak is running late, too.  i call her and she says she’s at the plaza.  i have my yellow beanie on and have folded up my sign so not to attact attention on my way there – i really wasn’t ready to do this alone.  i get to the plaza and no shak in sight.  commence internal freak out.  i call shak to see where she is and about 2 seconds later i see her and phil a few hundred feet away.

shak posts up with the sign, propped up on one of the steps.  i grab the candy and the minicards.  i realize that i don’t really think any craigslist folks are gonna show so we’re going to have start soliciting people:

“FREEEE HUGS AND CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“WORK SUCKS BUT FRIDAY’S AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD GET A FREE HUUU-UUUGGGG!”

“FREE HUGS, NO STRINGS, AND NO I’M NOT WITH A CHURCH”

“FREE HUGS AND CHOCO-LATE, FREE HUGS AND CHOCO-LATE, FREEEEE HUUUUGGGS AND CHOCOLATE!!!”

“FREE HUGS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!”

“FREE HUUU-UUUGS, FREE HUUU-UGS, FREE HUH-HUH-HUH…YOU KNOW YOU WANT A FREE HUUU-UUG.”

“HI.  DO YOU WANT A FREE HUG?  OH.  WHAT?  YOU DON’T LOVE ME?”

etcetera.  we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves making up songs, jingles, freestyle raps, and dances.  many people simply walked by – some people looked at us like the odd hippies we were, others smiled quietly to themselves, while others had smiles that eventually widened into uncontainable laughter.  there were some people who approached us from even across the street, so ready for a hug and incredulous why anyone wouldn’t want free hugs ;)  folks sitting on the steps near us mostly didn’t approach us for hugs, but observed us for lengths of time, highly amused.

like many of the acts, it was interesting to see people’s reactions and often, skepticism.  people asked us what church we were with, what we were selling, why were doing it, and what was in it for us.  especially when i handed minicards out – people’s initial reaction was that we were giving out free hugs as promotion for the blog.

as shakirah was the one holding the sign, and i was wrapped up in conversation with people explaining the project, a lot of people were approaching shakirah for hugs.  it didn’t take much for shak to give in to the good energy and become a power-hugger :D  we converted the hard-ass new yorker to some cali lovin awesomeness!!!  yee.  shakirah even introduced two solicitation tactics: eye contact and preemptively opening your arms wide for a hug.  it made it very difficult for folks to refuse us.  shak was very good at making eye contact and talking people into hugs – “weelllll, alllllriiiight,” they’d say.  i favored stalking.  at one point, i caught a couple eyeing us at the street corner and called them out.  they jokingly pretended not to be observing us as i inched over and gave them both hugs and chocolate :)  hahah, they didn’t see that one coming.  of the step people, one man sitting there since the beginning of our session finally approached me 30 minutes or so later and said he needed a hug :D.  on the same steps, a father sat with baby in lap and smiled.

we even made a couple friends.  a young man by the name of zach offered up some chocolate for us to hand out and even sent us home with some free produce.  he told us about his own pay it forward idea around sustainability and composting.  a masseuse named cy shared some sweets with shak and i.  he also offered me up a free 2-minute shoulder massage.  hahahah was a bit of an awkward sight – me soliciting folks amidst contorted massage-reaction facial expressions :D

we were a bit of spectacle, as i’m sure you can imagine.  one man put us up on his twitter feed.  some folks texted their friends to come get a free hug.  other people told their friends to meet them “where the free hugs were,” amused by their friends’ confusion in response.  we ended up taking several photos with tourists and somehow even became the subjects of a mini “photoshoot.”  hopefully we’ll see some of those pictures at some point in life?  if so, i’ll make sure to share them with all yooooz.

we hugged dogs, men in business suits, a kid, a ups lady, students, couples, disabled folks, homeless folks, hippies like us (shak’s one too now), musicians on tall acrobatic-looking bikes from seattle, an environmentalist, a masseuse, tourists and people from endless backgrounds and experiences not readily visible on the surface.  we group hugged.  a particular young man took a liking to shakirah and came back for a second hug on his way back passing us again.

we even hugged a young lady from australia whose friend founded the worldwide “free hugs” campaign in australia a year ago.  apparently it was a youtube phenomenon, which i never knew about because i live under a rock.  quite serendipitous.  check out some youtube footage:

free hugs news coverage:

free hugs campaign music video:

we were having so much fun, we ended up staying an hour past the time we had allotted.  here’s to over a 100 free hugs on a friday afternoon in the san francisco financial district.  and to lots of smiles, lovin, and goodness.

mission:

  • write a stranger a happy note :)

again, i thought i was going to do something anonymously for my neighbor whom i don’t like (i don’t remember if i’ve actually written about him here yet) – but again, i decided not to :D  the lemon bars were going to possibly be for him, but instead i decided on bestowing the love on fellow beach bums.

i then decided to perhaps send a random stranger in the phonebook a gift.  but i couldn’t think of something basic and cheap that would fit inside a regular postage envelope.  besides movie tickets.  but i’m also trying to do non-money acts of kindness if something moves me.

so i decided to write a nice note to someone.

ideally, i was going to open up to a random page in the phonebook and find a name.  but in this digital age, i couldn’t remember if i had a phonebook or lest, where i put it (i remember where it’s buried now).  so i had to find a way to be digitally random.  i hit up whitepages.com.  there’s no real “browse” feature, only searching.  first i typed in my own last name…but then i thought that was too boring.

there was a fun feature that showed the most popular first and last names in the US and also by state.  i decided against those peeps though.

i searched people with the last name “happy” and “smile,” but decided against choosing them because me writing a happy note to them might be a little cliche and predictable.

so then i decided i wanted to send a note to someone with the last name “funk.”  after browsing a few folks, i decided that people with the last name funk might have issues with their last name and may not enjoy their note.  i mean, i was thinking “funk” more like “fonnnnk” …like, git down.  yadada?  but…then i thought, maybe they got teased in childhood for smelling like “funk” or one could be in a “funk” or something to that effect.  i concluded they may have repressed issues with their last name and might find it offensive that i sought them out with it.  in retrospect, maybe that’s why they’d need a happy card.  yes, i’m also grossly generalizing and reading waaaayyy into things, but that’s me :D

i decided that “funky” would be better.  don’t ask me why, as it probably could have the same teasable applications as “funk.”  for some reason, it just felt safer.  i don’t know…i guess i was just scared of some angry person feeling violated that i found them in an albeit, public, directory – and try to hunt me down.  ummm.  yeah.

anyway.  decided on mailing donna funky from texas.  i wrote her the following note on a pretty papyrus card and slipped a minicard in the envelope:

positivity breeds more positivity, so..

smile :)

i don’t know you and you don’t know me – i found your name randomly in the phonebook.  but i do intentionally hope that maybe this card will brighten your day.

be well.  peace, seher

i actually really like this exercise.  it’s incredibly random and awesome.  i may just do it again one day.

the end :)

day 23: gas

September 25, 2008

mission:

  • put $10 on a random gas pump

since i’ve already put $5 on an atm, i wanted to avoid taping a $10 to a gas pump.  i decided that i would approach the gas station attendant and ask him or her to treat the next customer to $10 off their gas bill (and also hand them my mini card).

i had to get gas anyway as my tank was on empty.  so after work, i roll up to the gas station…alllllll ready to go.  except i forgot my mission-critical minicards.

so i decide instead to screw it and go eat dosa with my homie scott instead.

nah.  but we really did eat dosa :D  after which i rush back home to grab my minicards and we hit up a gas station on mission street (yes, mission gets a lot of lovin from the rehes).  i jump out of the car and go inside the mini-mart to talk to dude inside:

“excuse me, do you have 2 $10’s for a $20?” i ask

he looks at me reluctantly, “ehhh…”

he doesn’t really want to give me his change.

…but, he finds some and gives me two $10 bills.

i take one of the bills and slap it right back on the counter.  pull out a minicard and slap that down right there with it:

“can you do something for me?” i ask

“…ehhhhh..” goes dude

“can you tell the next person that comes in here to pay for gas that $10 of their bill is already covered?  then give them this card?”

he seems to understand what i’m saying – he’s nodding.  i start to walk away until i notice that by the look on his face, homie is utterly confused.  i approach him again:

“so, people come in here to put money on those pumps outside right?  like, ‘can i have gas on pump 4, 5, 6?’ right?” i ask

he nods.

“so can you just tell them that $10 of it is already paid for with this money?  and then give them this little card?”

he nods, still a little confused.

“do you get what i’m saying now?  or…?”

he sorta nods.  i think he’s searching for a re-explanation or some punchline.

“um, cool!  you got it!  have a good day!” i quickly say and bust out as i see another customer approaching (a possible beneficiary :D)

i get back into my car and i arch my neck over to see if the guy inside is paying for gas or about to buy something from the mini-mart.  then say to scott:

“what if the attendant guy doesn’t get what i just said?  what if i just bought that dude in line some doritos or something?  what if…”

“this is where you leave it up to fate,” says the wise scott

“oh.  well…” say i

“such a virgo.” (insinuating that i always have to map out, understand, and control everything)

:)

alas.

(prep for) day 25: free love

September 24, 2008

mission:

  • give out free hugs and chocolate

to garner attendance, i’ve posted a craigslist ad.  feel free to tell friends to come, but i’m trying to keep the larger “love is the word” project anonymous on the craigslist ad.  i’ll hand out minicards and let folks know about it all at the actual event – just think it’s more fun/interesting to leave larger details a mystery for now.

a recount of the process/event will be up for the actual “day 25” post :)  just wanted to give you folks a heads up if you want to come!

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subject: free love

i am giving out free hugs and chocolate.

this friday, 9/26, 4-5PM
@ one post plaza near the triangular sitting steps (market and montgomery streets)

no strings. i just think the world can always benefit from some good positive energy – just because.

i’ll be the long curly haired female wearing a yellow beanie and holding a large sign lettered “FREE HUGS.”

come if you need a hug. come if you want to give a hug. come to laugh at corny people.

one note: let’s keep the hugging PG, thank you :)

peace,
seher

day 22: connection

September 24, 2008

mission:

  • stop everything for just a moment to be in that moment
  • show appreciation for those who’ve had a positive impact on you
  • support independent music by buying a cd

i actually had another act planned for yesterday.  but the fact that my nap turned into sleep last night, kept me from doing it.  since the prep and execution for that given act spans a few days, i was also struggling about which day to attribute the act to and how to blog about it.  i just came up with a solution, which i will share in a later post.

every morning on my way to work, i unplug my mini external hard drive from my home computer so i can bring it to work.  it carries my massives of music.  this morning i decided to leave my hard drive at home because i remembered i had some newly bought cd’s to listen to!

i started thinking back on my day yesterday, if i had done anything “nice.”  otherwise, i was going to have to do two acts today to make up for yesterday / bump everything up a day.  i popped in one of the cd’s i bought yesterday, and kept thinking.

eventually a track called “connection” came on.  it was the track that made me buy the cd.  i remembered how i felt when i heard it: i was walking down market street yesterday and i hear these dudes playing – it immediately shifts my mood and forces me out of whatever thoughts i was buried in.  for that moment, i am right in it.  i see folks chillin on the steps around the plaza where they’ve set up-  some are just layed up, others chit chatting with friends, and still others bobbing their heads and smiling…as if there wasn’t a care in the world.

i slowed down my pace and took it in for a few seconds, but for some reason i still kept walking.  once i was a few paces past them, i just stopped and stood where i was for a second.  i asked myself why i always have had a habit of walking on when i hear good music on the street like that.  i’ve asked myself this question a few times – to no avail.  maybe i thought that’s what i was supposed to do.  or maybe i always happen to be too busy or focused on whatever it is i got going on that i can’t stop.  really, though, seher?  every time?  nah.  this time i needed to stop…and turn around.  i walked back.  i bought both of their cd’s.  who knows if i was gonna like it all, but it felt good to support folks doing their thing.  and to effectively say “thank you” for uplifting me in that moment.

on the real, it’s moments like that that make me feel still and utterly content, simply because i am living and experiencing that moment.  it makes me feel connected to humanity and purpose on a very powerful, intangible level.

that definitely deserves a moment or two of my time, a thank you.

let me expand on the whole music thing for a second.  i have so much music that i haven’t even listened to most of it yet.  but, i can also honestly say that i wouldn’t be able to be discover so much new music if it weren’t for all the downloading/swapping with friends i did.  and to buy all that music, i can’t really afford.  and it doesn’t really make sense to me when a good bunch of it just ends up sounding “okay” to me.  still, there is a good deal of dope music that i’ve “discovered” either via downloading, friends, or hearing a track somewhere.  of late, i’ve tried to make a point to buy music now and then – particularly from artists that i already like and in other special/one-off situations.  a lot of these independent artists are selling their albums for just $10-15 bucks.  forego a lunch or dinner out one time and support, yall.

just really on a larger level, it’s important to show appreciation for people’s hard work, and even more so when that work has a positive impact on our lives.  it’s our responsibility to advance and uplift our peers/community members that are doing good things – whatever that may be.  otherwise who will?  so while i may have spoken about music in this particular instance, i really mean to also generally highlight valuing/supporting/encouraging/uplifting each other by rooting for each other, saying “thank you,” and showing love through our actions and material support when we are able.

that might seem like a given, but i don’t think it’s something we always remember to do.  we, myself included, are quick to take the good for granted.  let’s not do that.

flash mob iftaars

September 23, 2008

courtesy of zahra, thank you :)

http://muslamics.blogspot.com/2008/09/new-take-on-feeding-hungry.html

your stories.

September 23, 2008

with just over a week left in the project, i’ve begun a little thinking about next steps for this “portal” i’m trying to create.  some may remember me mentioning another project i wanted to introduce via this site.  how long it will take me to plan and formulate the model for that project – i don’t know yet.

but, with this particular project – i have an idea.  you all!!!

i would love to continue to use this space as a forum/display/community where people can read about acts of kindness experiences and ideas.  so, if you have done an act of kindness (or are planning on doing one) that you’d like to write about…send me a story!  write one on behalf of a friend if you saw/heard of them doing something nice.  if someone did something nice for you – give em props, tell us about it!  you can include names or you can be completely anonymous.  your choice.

send all submissions to: loveistheword.org@gmail.com

i will begin posting your stories after the final entry for the 30 days project :)

i really hope you consider sharing – very much looking forward to it.

peace,
seher

mission:

  • gift someone flowers to gift to their lover.  aaaaaaoowwww.

i’ve been toying with doing something with flowers for a minute, but i already gave away that i was thinking about doing the checkout clerk idea.  so, yeah.

riding the bart train home i have an epiphany (ok it was actually a really basic idea but i’m slow):  i am going to get flowers to give to a stranger!  yes!  first i think i’ll give em to a dude to change it up.  but then some lame dude might feel super emasculated and just plain not be feeling it.  and that would suck and make me annoyed :D  didn’t wanna give them to a woman (sorry fellow womenfolk – too predictable).  i decided i would give the flowers to someone to give to someone else.

i figured it was the perfect opportunity to get someone to sort of “pay it forward” – essentially setting them up for their own act.  what?!  two birds with one stone?!!!?!?!!

i’m actually a genius, fyi.

i decide i am going to approach various men and ask them if they are involved with someone.  wow, that was an easy way to put it – yesterday, though, i was experiencing major brain wrackage trying to figure out what to say.  outlined is seher’s internal dialogue:

what to say, hrrrmmmmmm…

“do you have a wife?”

nah, but then people have girlfriends.

“do you have a girlfriend or wife?”

man, but what about the in between ish? ok…

“do you have a girlfriend, wife, or crush?”

what the hell kind of question is that, seher?  what if someone has moved past the crush stage and actually not gotten rejected?  i guess that’s called dating.

“do you have a girlfriend, wife, or lover?”

mmmm.  maybe a little too forwardly worded.  uhhh, ok – please note you are being a heterosexist right now, seher.  hmmm…yet another wording challenge…

“do you have a significant other or love interest?”

that sounds so stale, generic, and boring.  bah.  but i guess that’s the point.  well, not the point.   but, generic and gender neutral.

i get off the bart at 24th mission and realize i don’t even have to go to safeway for flowers!  there is usually a lady sellin em right at the corner.  score.  and indeed, as i swoop around near the bus stop – i see my lady.  i grab a bunch of sunflowers for $5 :)

now came the fun part!  i got to catch various men off-guard with a seeming pick-up line…and then, with some super steezed out bait-and-switch action, give em flowers for their lover!!!  wooooooo.  amping up for social awkwardness in t-minus 5, 4, 3…

ok.  it wasn’t really that serious.  but, maybe in my active imagination, it was.  if i was in the right mood, i woulda milked that ish and approached several dudes.  but alas, i wussed out.  still, i didn’t want to make it too easy.  i’m at 24th and mission and i’m eyeing the fellas around me, thinking on what grounds i’ll discriminate today to pick my subject.  kindness profiling.  word life.  times is rough.

i decide against questioning folks at the bart station as i see the 49 bus pull up.  i figure i can multitask, continue home and inquire captive bus people :D  hahahah, they’ll have nowhere to run from my randomness!!

i look around and all i see is women in the front.  i see a young man maybe a bit older than me towards the middle.  not sure if he speaks english well (a lot of folks on the buses in the mission don’t, from what i know), but thought to give it a chance anyway.  i’m coming right at him and i can see him ‘what-the-effing’ inside.  one of those holding poles are right at his seat.  as the bus starts moving, i saunter over, grab the pole and swing to a halt right in front of him.  ok, maybe not exaaaactly that…but something like that.  shoot, maybe i did do that.  my memory just consistently fails me.  ju donno me!

“hey, sir.” i smile

“do you have a significant other or love interest?” i ask

it’s such a formally worded and pointed question, it is sort of even an odd way to hit on someone.  dude is taken a back, but manages to spit out a fumbled, “err, no.”

i immediately divert my attention away from him (he’s probably severely perplexed) at the smiling man two seats away from him.  probably thinking to himself something to the effect of, “ohhhh, these young single ones.  never know what they’ll do for a little lovin!”  i smile at him and ask him if he’s single / does he have anybody?  he laughs lightly and he says he does.  i ask him what the exact relation is.  he says he has a wife.  in response, i hand him a bouquet of sunflowers and tell him, “these are for you to give to your wife.”  he already saw me carrying the flowers and whispering sweet oddities to dude next to him, so i don’t think he was tooo surprised at my gesture.  nonetheless, he smiled :)

i handed him a minicard and told him i was doing 30 random acts of kindness in 30 days.  said there was a website where i recorded my experiences.  he asked me if he should go on there and leave a comment.  i told him he didn’t have to do that but could visit the site if he wanted to.  again, interesting how people assume that i am seeking something in return.  still, was nice of him to offer :)

i make my way to the front of the bus at this point.  a woman my age is grinning and darts a couple glances towards me.  i sit down.  “hey, did you just give that guy flowers?” she asks.  “yep,” i told her, handing her a minicard – “i’m doing 30 random acts of kindness in 30 days.”  she looks down, reading the card, nods her head and gives a big smile – “i love this kind of stuff!”

too shy to look around and catch the reactions of any other bystanders, i smile quietly to myself the rest of the way home.